


He Made Her Smile

by ThroughtheMirrorDarkly



Series: Marked and Branded [5]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Angst, F/M, Romance, Self-Doubt, Sexy Alistair (Dragon Age), With a hint of smut at the end, introspective
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-06
Updated: 2017-02-06
Packaged: 2018-09-22 09:26:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9601487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThroughtheMirrorDarkly/pseuds/ThroughtheMirrorDarkly
Summary: After Wynne's disapproval over Ashlinn Cousland's relationship with Alistair, Ashlinn sits down and think about her life and what her led her to this point. In the end, she cannot regret the path she took, though it may be marred by tragedy and betrayal, because it led to him.Because he made her smile.*Set in Dragon Age Origins, ten years before "Marked".





	

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Age in any way shape or form. This is for amusement purposes only. Enjoy.
> 
> Summary: Ashlinn Cousland contemplates love and life after a talk with Wynne. She think about the path that led her to where she stands now, and while it has been a rocky road filled with tragedy and betrayal, she would not trade it for the world because of him.
> 
> Pairing: Ashlinn Cousland/Alistair Theirin, Female Warden/Alistair Theirin
> 
>  
> 
> Timeline: Ten years before “Marked”

HE MADE ME SMILE 

By ThroughtheMirrorDarkly

Wynne’s words circle through Ashlinn Cousland’s mind as she stared deep at the crackling campfire. Silence permeated through the camp as everyone was left to their own devices after supper dispersed, and now she sat with a disquiet heart, lost to her own thoughts. She hadn’t appreciated what Wynne had said because she may be wise about many things, but her relationship was not one of them. She did not know the depths of her feelings for Alistair, nor his for her. She knew that the throne was a worry, a cause for concern, because of Lohgain’s machinations. Alistair becoming the King of Ferelden could be a reality, and there was a tremble of uncertainty for what the future held for them if that were so. Hell, the future was already uncertain with the Blight and Archdemon. 

_But he made her smile._

Maybe if she had chosen someone else, it would be easier. 

Zervan with eyes that lingered a little longer than they should. It would have been sharp, combustible, an inferno that burnt her up from the inside out and left her ruined afterwards. Leliana with her soft smiles and the blush that rose upon her cheeks when Ashlinn neared. It would be slow burn, a drawn out pleasure, that lingered for days on end. There were feelings there. A potential for something more, but Ashlinn didn’t lead them on. They had understood, and were now two of her closest friends. 

Maybe if she had chosen one of them, it would have been easier. 

Alistair had made that impossible. He was _everything_. He was the white-hot inferno that surged through her veins. The slow burn that curled around her heart with equal measures of pleasure and pain. He made her completely, and whole, and filled the cracks in her heart where tragedy had tried to shatter her. He gave her such strength that made the world seemed like an unimpressive foe when he stood by her side, and she felt that they could weather anything together. He was the safest place she had even known, and she knew her heart could not have found a better home. 

_And because he had made her smile._

He had been unexpected in the best way. 

She had been beaten down, feeling like her soul had been scraped out and left hollow in the wake of her parents’ death at the hands of Arl Rendon Howe. She felt like the lowest scum of the world that she had abandoned them, and felt like she should have done more. The light had been seeped out of her life, and the smile had been stolen from her face. Icy walls had been erected around her heart, and at that time, there felt like no power on the earth could make them thaw. Duncan had been concerned, for he saw the vast difference from the bright and witty young woman he had first met to the shell that walked beside him all the way to Ostagar. 

She had been resigned to be a Grey Warden, accepting her fate like one accepted a death sentence, and then she had met Alistair. He was so different than the glory seeking young soldiers or the grim faced veterans, and immediately struck her. His banter with the mage stirred a sliver of amusement in her heart, and it grew with each sassy remark he tossed at the sullen mage. After the mage stormed off, he had turned to her with a half smile and said, “That’s wonderful thing about a Blight, isn’t it? How it just brings people together.” 

“I know just what you mean,” her reply had been toneless, but there had been a slight curve to her lips. He had given her back her smile. 

Make no mistake, it was no instant love. She had been too jade to fall head first, and be all heart eyes around him like a love struck puppy. It happened gradually, in little increments. The week they spent at Ostagar, training and preparing for the Blight had cemented a comradely between them, and the fact that Alistair seemed to draw Ashlinn from her shell, had Duncan keep them paired together, even when Alistair should have been with the other Grey Wardens instead of the new blood. 

Alistair did not complain. In fact, he seemed to enjoy the easy going friendship between them, and they talked about their pasts. He told her about growing up in the monastery, and how he would shout sometimes because it was so quiet, and scandalize the brothers there. Ashlinn told him about easy things. What Castle Cousland had been like, the best places to hide when she was being hunted down by her mother to meet a young noble man for a potential marriage match. Neither spoke about more painful things. Not him about Arl Eamon sending him off, and she did not speak about her parents’ murder. The friendship too new to divulge such things. For Ashlinn it was still too fresh to speak of, and the pain still too great. 

_And yet even in pain, he made her smile._

They forged into the Kohkari Wilds. Alistair, Jory, Daveth, and herself in the hunt of Darkspawn and the treaties that were sealed up tight. It had not been easy. With the wildlife and darkspawn seemed against them, it seemed like a fool’s folly. In a battle that almost went sour, Alistair had charged an Emissary that had managed to do some damage to her arm, and together they slaughtered it while Jory and Daveth had dealt with the weaker ones. It had made her disheartened because for a second she believed she was not meant for this. She was no match for these monstrous creatures, but then Alistair dispelled through fears by just being Alistair. 

“We work well together,” Alistair said, with a goofy grin. A blush stole his cheeks when he realized what he had said, and he stumbled over a few words until Ashlinn nudged his arm, giving him a smile. It had eased his embarrassment, but his words had made her feel warm. The coldness that had built up around her heart thawed even more. 

Even before the battle of Ostagar he had managed to make her smile. He had been upset that he would not be on the front lines, and told Duncan that if King Calian ever asked him to put on a dress and dance the Remmingold that is where he would drawn the line. “I’d like to see that,” she said, amused. 

“Maybe for you,” Alistair said, with a slight smirk. “But it’d have to be a pretty dress.” 

And then everything that could have gone wrong at the battle, did go wrong. Loghain betrayed the King, and left everyone on that field to die. Perhaps he had his reasons, but that did not lessen the betrayal that had been dealt. It did not lessen the grief of loss, especially not for Alistair. Ashlinn and Alistair were the last Grey Wardens of Ferelden, and the duty of the Blight had been placed firmly on their shoulders. Grief and duty had created ties that bound them closer, in a way that the comrades that they picked up afterwards couldn’t fully understand. They understood the fear of the Blight, but had not yet understood the full reality of it. 

It had been several months since then. It felt like years at times, but they marched across Ferelden in search of their allies. Arl Eamon, and the Circle Tower had been next for obvious reason. They had just left the Brecalian Forest after securing the elves alliance, and tomorrow would start the trek towards Ozammar. She could only imagine what troubles laid beneath the surface. It seemed every place they went in all Ferelden had decided to fall into despair and discord, despite the fact that the Blight loomed ever so near. While she knew they needed to end the Blight, she could have never imagined that she would have to make world shaking decision and piece the world back together bit by bit. It made her feel older than she was, and a bit weary. 

_But even with the weight of the world, he still made her smile._

And yet regrets did not stir in her heart. Maybe on some level that was cold of her, but even though the path that led to here had been rocky filled with tragedy and betrayal, it had led to him. She couldn’t regret that. He had given her smile back, he had repaired her broken part, and given her a hope for a better future than she thought she’d ever had after her parents’ death. So she didn’t have all the answers. So what if everything was not wrapped in a neat little box, and planned out with painstaking detail? She didn’t care what the future brought so long as it always brought her back to him. She twisted the rose that Alistair had given her between her fingers. It was still fresh, thanks to her begging Morrigan to cast an enchantment on it, and she drew in a deep breath savoring the scent before she carefully put it back into the side of her knapsack. She then got to her feet, stretching out her lax limbs, when arms wrapped around her stomach and she was pulled against a warm, hard chest. “Copper for your thoughts?” Alistair’s voice flirted across the shell of her ear, and she melted happily into his hold. 

“I like to think my thoughts are worth more than a copper,” Ashlinn teased, running her fingers across his forearms. Some people may underestimate Alistair by only seeing his joking and goofy side, but he was fierce and deadly. Each muscle in his body had been honed with the purpose of a warrior, and she could feel that strength coiled beneath his skin, yet he was gentle with her. The top of her head brushed against the bottom of his chin, with his big broad shoulders that she had an obsession with, Alistair completely dwarfed her, and there was a part of her that liked this like a cat liked catnip. Not that she would let Alistair know. He’d never stop teasing her about. 

“Oh? And I wonder what the proper tithe is for you thoughts then?” He asked, brushing her hair away from her neck so he could plant gentle kiss upon her pulse. 

“Hmm.” She tilted her head to the side to give him better assess. “Keep kissing me like that, and I’ll tell you anything you want to hear.” 

“Really now?” She felt his grin against her neck. 

That how she got swept away from camp, and pinned against a tree with Alistair kissing her senseless. His lips devoured her like he was man in a desert, and she was his oasis. Their tongues were in a dance as old as time, and he seemed determined to kiss her into submission. If that was his plan, it was working quite well. Ashlinn mewled in disappointment when he tore his mouth away from hers, and for a moment, they were both left panting, desperate to recapture their breath. “Is that a sufficient price for your thoughts?” Alistair grinned, rather pleased with himself. Her lips were swollen and red from his kisses, and there would be no doubt to what they were up to out here when they returned to camp. There was a darker part of him loved leaving his claim on her, and knowing that everyone knew that she was his. 

“More than sufficient,” Ashlinn sighed, breathlessly. Her cheeks were flushed red, and her eyes slightly glazed over with lust. Her pulse pounded against the base of her neck, and her chest shuddered with each breath. Her knees trembled, and the center of her thighs throbbed with ache only he could relieve. 

“So what were you think about?” Alistair said, his fingertips ghosted along her collarbone. A little teasing touch that her move restlessly towards in the search of something more satisfying, and she relished in the feeling of his warm fingers against her skin. 

“You.” She didn’t even bother to deny it. 

“Me?” Alistair’s eyebrow rose upward. 

“Yes. You,” Ashlinn said, with a half smile. Her hand lifted to his chest, and her smile broadened when he caught it. He lifted her fingertips to his lips, kissing every single one before he set it against his shoulder, and his other arm slid around the small of her back, drawing her flush against him. She had to tilt her head back to gaze into those hazel eyes of his, and she loved finding the hidden colors there. Little specks of emerald and ambers that only she got close enough to see. “I was thinking about how despite everything the world has thrown at us, how glad that I am that you are still here with me. I don’t think I could be strong, and do what needs to be done if I didn’t have you by my side.” 

His mouth slanted into a sexy smile, with just a hint of embarrassment. “I don’t think that I’ve done very much. You lead and I follow,” Alistair stated, dragging his thumb across her lower lip. 

“You do so much more than that. You are…what keeps me steady when I feel I’m about to fall. You are what keeps me focus on what needs to be done. Whenever I start to feel lost, you are this beacon that guides me,” Ashlinn whispered, her voice choked with emotions. Her eyes gazed soulfully into his, and her nose brushed against his. “I love you so much, and when I think I cannot fall in love with you more, you prove me wrong.” 

She loved him more than words could ever sufficiently describe, and had never felt for anyone else what she felt for him. He had taken refuge in her heart, and left no room for anyone else. His presences felt as vital as the very air she breathed. She could not imagine a world without him, and would not wish to live in such a place. The doubts that Wynne’s words had ignited fell from her mind completely. She wanted to be free, and happy with Alistair. Such moments were fleeting when they faced such darkness, and she didn’t want these precious moments to be tainted by that. 

“And I love you,” Alistair promised, his hand gently cupped the back of her neck. His lips brushed against hers in a sweet chaste kiss, and they slowly savored the feel and taste of each other. His tongue flirted with hers, and drew a whimper from deep in her throat as she slid her arms around his neck. “I’m never going to have enough of you,” he breathed out, against her lips. His hands slid down to the bottom, and kneaded the flesh there before he lifted her up. Her legs wounded his waist tightly, and he pressed her back against the tree. His lined his hips with hers, grinding his hardness against her in a slow tantalizing rhythm that her toes curl in her shoes and her eyes rolled back into her skull. If it had not been for the clothes they wore, he would have been tightly inside of her that is how tightly they were pressed together. Desperate gasp and groans pulled from both of them, and it was not long until clothes were left abandoned upon the grass. They were splayed across the ground, and made love beneath the moon. 

So what if their love is selfish? 

_He made her smile, and she had given him her heart._

And maybe in the end, that was just alright.

**Author's Note:**

> NOTE: This is actually based loosely off a gameplay I did for Dragon Age Origins, where I intentionally romanced Alistair, and somehow accidentally romanced Leliana and Zervan. I made my Warden Alistair’s Queen, and Zervan was like “it was good while it lasted” and Leliana was like “it hurts, but I’m happy for the both of you”. I was like, “WHAT?” I apparently had accidentally triggered their romances at some point, and didn’t realize it. Never kissed them, nothing beyond friendship on my part, but they apparently thought there was more to what was going on. Of course, I’ve edited this because Ashlinn is smart, cunning, and would not miss if someone held feelings for her. She knows there is potential for something greater with Leliana and Zervan if she had chosen to act upon it, but she didn’t because Alistair is all she ever needed.
> 
> And just in case you have missed them, or want to know what I have planned, here you go. :D
> 
> MAIN STORYLINE  
> 1.) Marked (completed) 1st in the series.  
> 2.) Branded (in progress) 2nd in the series.  
> 3.) Through the Ashes We Climb (in progress) 3rd in the series.  
> \--Branded and Through the Ashes We Climb overlap time wise.  
> 4.) *Title In Work* (planned) 4th in the series.  
> SIDE STORIES  
> 4.) These Thoughts of You (completed) Alistair thinks on his dead beloved. *current time*  
> 5.) A Queen’s Proposal (completed) Queen Anora needs a husband. *three years after the blight ended*  
> 6.) TALES FROM KIRKWALL  
> Stories complied together of Echo’s time in Kirkwall. Some snippets, some oneshots, some introspective.  
> Such Fragile Things (completed) Isabella takes Echo out on a night of debauchery that ends up landing them in hot water.  
> Snip, Snap, Crick, Crack (completed) *Set after Leandra’s death. Hawke centric with Fenris/Hawke and a helpful Echo*  
> 7.) Mythal’s Tears (planned) *Set after they reach Skyhold. Summary: Ashlinn and Echo come up with a plan to give the elves a new homeland, but the cost may be greater than they are willing to pay)  
> 8.) Marked and Branded AU One Shots (planned) *Smutty One Shots of Alternative Universe with characters from Marked and Branded such as Echo, Ashlinn, Mahanon, Marco, Catherine where the world put them on a different path. Basically just a reason to write some smut*


End file.
